The Lost Art of Believing in Fairytales

The Lost Art of Believing in Fairytales ~ A Journal of Impossible, Extraordinary, Everyday Things

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there is something drumming wildly inside the stillness of my heart

forgive the stream of consciousness, if it is weird or wild or wonderful. this is me. right now. right here. keep this moment, this sliver of me, of who I am…or was just then, and hold it frozen, silver and gold, suspended in time and space with everyone else’s memory. my hair right now is a wild tumble of gold and red and blonde and brown…caramel, someone once called it, and I guess that’s as close as anyone’s ever gotten to naming the colour of my head. my eyes are probably overbright, from the desire to sleep, a glazed jewel-jade green. my fingers are warm and tingling with the fire against the keys, stumbling in their haste to pour out nonsense phrases that now seem so important and profound to me but in the morning will be nothing but smoke, like all words whispered in the dead of night become by the clarity of morning. what i need to say now is to take note of the details, of the things that bring you fear and joy and peace and all things in between, in the every day, nondescript permanent motion of life. the rush of day into night and back into day again. remember the heat of a tiny hand flutter-lightly resting against your skin, and sweaty ringlets pressed like rain-drenched butterflies against the crook of your neck. memorize the way small bones jut from beneath fragile child skin and bump along your fingers as you trace circles on slender, heated backs. remember the sound of your breathing, mingled with the quicker softer inhalations of someone at the very very beginning of their universe-even more at the beginning than you. remember the irrevocable, heart-binding love that washes over you and the awe you feel when you realize that perhaps this is only an echo…what will it be like when it washes over you in the presence of a small heart that is yours and not someone else’s child? god is more than you ever imagined, or ever will, and his love… what shadow is your swelling love in comparison to his? remember that the ocean kisses the shore at the bidding of the moon, and that the sun crackles with dragon-fire a thousand lives away. remember that you are small as dust, and as big as a mountain, all at once, and that like a time machine you are infinite only on the inside, and will never know your core without a guide who knows it first. Jesus is more than you ever imagined, or ever will. think of your dreams…what shadow is your desire and hope in contrast with his vision? will he not see it all done? trust, little loud human creature, even when you’re silent on the outside, trust and wait and see what is in store for you. remember that all the things you fear are naught, and that all things of man and earth are small and weightless particles in space and time, held swirling together like a masterwork puzzle in the hand of an artistic divinity. the divine, the sacred, the creator of breath and starlight. he is the one who breaks shackles, disarms warriors and changes history. so rise, righteous wild child, rise princess, rise, rise, rise, rise, wild hair and wild eyes and see the justice and grace of the one who rose first! forgive the stream of consciousness, but pay heed to the nonsense…perhaps it is not so inconsequential as it seems at first glance. even the most wild things can be ordered if one has eyes to see. look look look, be bright and bold and beautiful. the lord is good, so good to me. the heart of night is not so dead as all the cliches says. it is alive alive alive as is its lord creator. so come on, even in silence, i am not quiet. can you hear me now? i will stay and let you move me where you will, lord jesus. come now, even so. 

A 1 AM rush of words on virtual paper…i know they make no sense, but this is me attempting to place to paper the warm golden feeling, like blood made out of words, that pulses through me. i’m probably just tired, but i am simply feeling…extraordinarily blessed. i doubt i succeeded in expressing that, but i really needed to try. sleep, now, would be wise, i think.

~KMM, May 20th, 2013

Filed under personal sometimes i go really abstract at 1 in the morning sorry about that not sorry goodnight

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LBD 30 days challenge: Day 1- How did you find LBD?

I was scrolling down my tumblr dashboard one day and one of the blogs I follow was fangirling over the latest episode (59). And I, being a loyal Austen fan, went “WHATTTT? A new adaptation!!!!” and googled it. And watched it. Fell in love after five episodes. 

I was like:

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The rest is history. 

*credit to allinablur for the great gif! 

Filed under credit to allinablur for the wonderful gif :) i've never used a gif before please tell me if i broke a law or something eek nerves 30 days of lbd lbd day 1

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